Many years ago, I paraphrased a verse of scripture from its NT Greek words., and in brackets at the end wrote “The General Idea Version”, just to indicate that it was my idea of the inspired writer’s thoughts. I wondered if someone would query it, but to my surprise no one did. Sixty years ago, someone would have for sure.
When the Revised Standard Version first came out, there was a storm of protest from Evangelicals due to some of its differences from the King James Version. Then the New International Version (NIV) was published, it became known as the Nearly Inspired Version. Before long, however, it became very popular.
Anyhow, based on some of the comments I’ve seen on Facebook, and with good humour to all, here are some of my whimsical ideas about a few future versions that could challenge the supremacy of whichever version is now the most popular:
- The “Shoehorn Version.” This one squeezes in bible texts to fit the doctrine of a particular denomination. One of the first of these was the Jehovah’s Witness New World Translation. Its infamous insertion was the word “a” in John 1:1. “…and the word was a God.” The tiny, single letter indefinite article “a” made it unacceptable to Christians; and rightly so.
- The “What Matters Most Version.” (WMMV) The emphasis in this is on “I AM” and “I CAN” and other texts that are counterparts of the kind of marketing and sales books seen in airport bookstores. The verses that relate to such are in gold letters, bold subheadings, or comments. Few of the comments focus on Matthew, chapters 5 to 7 (the Sermon on the Mount), which is bit too passive, perhaps, what with turning the other cheek and all that.
It’s likely that a particular group will publish the Thinned Down Version in which those texts deemed to be Not Gender Inclusive will be edited out, the first of which would be Romans chapter 1. If those who translate it are ‘Woke and/or Correct’ it might end up as a short, 10-second read. Still, even that might be a big ask to some nowadays.
I hope that either I die, or that Jesus returns, and I rise to “meet the Lord in the air” before the inevitable “UN Version” is published. Such a ‘world-friendly’ version would contain a mix of wacky religious ideas that would warp the teachings of Jesus and the Apostles that it might well become referred to as the Believe It or Else Version (BIOEV) and by genuine Christians as the Beggars Belief Version (BBV).
There’s a story about a Christian who gave a Bible with many ‘helpful’ notes to a new Christian. Weeks later he called him to ask how his Bible study was going. “Well,” said the not long new Christian, “I had a lot of difficulty at first, trying to understand all the comments on the side of each page, but when I decided to read only the verses above, it all became clear.”
Blessed simplicity.