A recent discovery has shed new light on Aussies! It appears they’ve unconsciously taken on the characteristics of the unique marsupials Down Under. This is truly incredible!
KANGAROO AUSSIE
Australia’s most common marsupial; shows interest, but chooses to remain just beyond reach; bounds away when approached; often seen at outdoor functions (golf days, picnics); wears bland, “don’t fence me in” expression; approach male of species with caution.
KOALA AUSSIE
Rarely stirs during day; sleeps in forks of certain eucalyptus trees; leaf-eater; lives in small colonies; apathetic in relationships; cuddly to hold, but quite aloof; can give nasty scratch if caught and squeezed; growls at night like wild bear (which it isn’t).
GLIDER POSSUM AUSSIE
High-flying nocturnal; feeds only on carefully selected items; rarely descends to level of other native fauna, which wish that they too had gliding gift.
PLATYPUS AUSSIE
Inexplicable mixture; appears to have something of everything; has been close to extinction (perhaps because it doesn’t quite know what it ought to be).
BANDICOOT AUSSIE
Not bald, as commonly believed; inquisitive creature: likes sticking long nose into situations, and then scurrying away when noticed; keeps under cover.
ECHIDNA AUSSIE
Prickly little customer: better left alone; digs in when approached; has “leave me alone” attitude; harmless enough, unless spikes are touched; will disappear from sight altogether if persistent contact sought.
TASMANIAN DEVIL AUSSIE
Uneasy relationship with other natives, due to ferocious appearance and unfortunate name (might have been more popular if had been named Angel); generally avoided because of carnivorous nature and sharp teeth.
WOMBAT AUSSIE
Non-aggressive marsupial resembles small bear; has short, thick legs and rudimentary tail; lives underground, and is rarely seen, so goes unnoticed.
That other nations also may have unconsciously developed characteristics unique to their native fauna is now thought entirely possible.