Hundreds of years ago, explorers believed there had to be a great continent in the Southern hemisphere. But then Dutch captain Abel Tasman discovered a southern part of it, and Captain James Cook RN the continent’s east coast. Years later, the incredibly brave Bass and Flinders circumnavigated the island continent that was known as “Terra Australis”.
The challenge these days is for Australians to rediscover the Lost Consonant — you know, those letters that, along with vowels, make up our alphabet. You would think the people who conquered a continent could rediscover a consonant, wouldn’t you? Not so. You see, it’s extremely hot in the Outback, and an open mouth is an invitation for flies to enter.
And so, as the years went by, Aussies learned to dispense with consonants and to use vowels, which enable us to speak through rounded lips without opening the mouth widely.
Australians began referring to their country as “Straya”, service stations as “servos”, tradesmen as “tradies”, afternoons as “arvos”, and electricians as “sparkies” … and so on. A consonant requires the tip of the tongue to be lifted to the roof of the mouth, which in the heat of summer is a bridge too far (if you’ll pardon the pun). The British pronounce their “t’s” to great effect.
Anyhow, over time Aussies developed a way of speaking previously known only to soldiers when talking to one another on parade — causing sergeants to bellow: “QUIET IN THE RANKS!” but not being able to identify the speakers). Aussie soldiers take a fair bit of pride in their ability to get away with this.
The really Lost Consonant is the letter “L” — which is dropped by many Aussies when pronouncing the word “particularly”. The compressed version “particuly” has now all but taken over.
Now, you might well be thinking: “What are you on about, Peter?” And if so, I understand where you’re coming from. At the risk of being thought of as pedantic, I treasure the English language and do my best to get it right. “Shall” has now all but replaced “will”, which makes some English folk wonder if I am actually an Australian. (Why, I cannot imagine, given that they are surrounded by barely understandable Celts.)
It’s bad enough that people who speak it as a second language do so a lot better than we do, and without abbreviating words with all but closed mouths (so we don’t swallow bush flies). Is this a rant? Probably. But I’ve got it off my chest in the probably vain hope that the tongues of Aussies will begin to speak proper English.
And as for all you Aussie Pentecostals, don’t just speak in unknown tongues in an effort to avoid speaking the King’s English!