When Jacob’s uncle, Laban, caught up with him as he fled from twenty years of trickery, the two came to a mutual arrangement. Jacob set up a monument of gathered stones and said to Laban, “Behold this pillar which I have built between me and you. May this be a witness that I will not pass over this heap to you, and that you will not pass over it to me to do me harm. The God of Abraham, and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us.” (Genesis 31:44-55)
Jacob swore this oath by the fear of his father Isaac, and the two men and their followers sat and ate bread in respect of the oath represented by the monument. Laban called it “A pile of stones” but Jacob called it “A Witness.”. It was a monument to a lingering distrust between the uncle and his nephew, who had both been deceptive.
If you follow Jesus Christ and are out of fellowship with someone — why not get together again? A local church is a family — and who’s not glad they belong to one — even if there’s a hidden monument to mutual distrust in both your minds.
I remember seeing a sign in a Christian bookshop that read: “The LORD watch between thee and me, while we are absent from one another.” I thought it was nice if a bit tacky. But instead of being a sweet platitude, it was in fact saying, “May God keep an eye on both of us because of our mutual distrust.”
Maybe someone in church hurt you and you’re thinking, “Once bitten, twice shy!” But how many times have you been hurt by members of your natural family? Did you leave home because someone said or did something that hurt your feelings? We are hurt and touchy when our trust has been betrayed but how can we fellowship together when we no longer trust each other? Paul the Apostle gives us the answer:
“God has reconciled us to Himself by Jesus Christ, and has given to us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto Himself: not reckoning anyone’s trespasses against them; and has committed to us the ministry of reconciliation. Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God pleads through us on Christ’s behalf — Be reconciled to God!” (2 Corinthians 5:18-20)
Reconciliation and Restoration work well for us, knowing, as we do, that we cannot be restored without first being reconciled. God has reconciled us to Himself through the blood of Christ on the Cross, which was shed for all. But the Cross is no Mizpah: no monument to mutual distrust; the spread-out arms and the nailed hands of Jesus are a sign of reconciliation, not only to the world in general but to you and me in particular.
So, is it asking too much for you to be reconciled to that person who offended you or who you offended? Perfection in human relationships is a big ask, which is why mutual forgiveness and reconciliation are integral to the Christian way of life. The answer — the only answer — is mutual forgiveness and restored trust! Not only for “them” but also for you and me.