“…And so I said to Yacob: that old camel’s worth nothing like what you’re asking… Wait. What’s that? Hey, you – behind that bush!”
“Me?”
“Who are you? What are you doing here? Tell me quickly – or else!”
“I am a simple traveller, from the Muddiwadi tribe, making my way home. I’ve done a little trading up north. Nothing that deserves a beating with your staffs, I’m sure.”
“What do you think, Lamech – let him go?”
“Seems harmless enough, Simeon…”
“Thank you, sirs. May I in turn address you? I see by your clothing that you are descendants of Israel; may his name live forever!”
“Well, we haven’t got all day to waste with the likes of you. Ask!”
“Your humble servant was simply wondering where you and your illustrious tribe were going.”
“Well, it’s a bit much for a simple man like you to understand, but we are heading for the next oasis. Why?”
“Forgive me, kind sirs, but I have heard a rumour among the tribes in the north that you are going – how shall I put it – nowhere; and, indeed, that you have now been going there for almost 40 years.”
“Nowhere? Nowhere indeed! The cheek of this wadi-hopper! If you had the brains of a gnat, you would know that we’re being led by none other than the living God.”
“Again, forgive your unworthy servant, who is less than a gnat, compared to illustrious men such as yourselves; but why are you burying so many of your people along the way? Is it indeed true, as I have heard up north, that you are all going to die in this wilderness?”
“Hit him with your staff, Lamech – yes, and one more for good measure! Good, good. And now, you miserable son of a bazaar thief, we will dispel your ignorance with the facts. Tell him, Lamech.”
“My pleasure, Simeon. For your information, you ignorant desert dweller, we are following that cloud you can see over there, which has led the children of Israel for many years.”
“Forgive the stupidity of your servant, but…led you where? And how does that explain all those graves? Your deathrate must equal your birthrate. I have also heard that your God sent you here to die because you refused to go to the land he chose for you. So I was wondering – are you in fact wandering?”
“Insolent man! Why do we even bother to talk to you? Lamech, you don’t look too well. Better sit down, while I tell him.”
“Tell me what? That every one of you aged 20 and over will wander in this wilderness until you die? Because you refused to enter “the land of milk and honey”? That your fear was greater than your faith? That it’s unbelief that’s causing you to die like flies? That your children, led by two men who had faith, will enter in only after the last unbelievers of your generation are dead?”
“Do you hear, Lamech! Lamech? Seems to have drifted off to sleep… Come to think of it, I think I need a bit of a lie-down myself… All this talk… Go home to your wadi, you ignorant fool… It’s only noonday, so why has it suddenly got so dark, and cold…? Wish I had a home…wish I’d had faith, to be honest…would have liked to have seen the Promised Land. Too late…”
The Muddiwadi traveller, decent man that he was, buried the two of them where they had fallen. Then he resumed his journey, happy knowing that, while he was a wonderer, he was certainly not a wanderer.