Are you living off God’s blessing on someone else’s life? Mothers are asked by their wayward children for prayer when the children get themselves into crisis situations. There’s a big difference between God’s primary and secondary blessings. Many grown children of Christian parents are spiritual hitchhikers!
Abraham’s unwillingness to wait for the son God had promised resulted in the birth of Ishmael. But it was Isaac who would receive God’s primary blessing. “O that Ishmael would live in your presence!” prayed Abraham. But it was not to be (Genesis 17:15-22; 21:8-21, 24).
In Galatians, chapter 4, the Apostle Paul presents this as an allegory in which Hagar, the servant-mother of Ishmael stands for bondage under law. Isaac, the son of Sarah stands for the fulfilment of God’s promise and freedom. God blessed Ishmael, who became the forefather of the twelve Arab nations; but it was Isaac, the child of promise, who received the primary blessing.
God blessed Ishmael for the sake of Abraham, so it was a secondary blessing. God also blessed Isaac’s son Jacob, in spite of his deceits, because the “human corkscrew” valued the birthright and the blessing. Jacob bought the birthright, which his twin brother Esau sold for a bowl of stew after arriving home from hunting famished.
Jacob later cheated Esau from the blessing, but he was only permitted to do so because God in foresight “loved Jacob and hated Esau” having seen that Jacob would prize the blessing and that Esau would despise it (Malachi 1:1-3).
Was God unjust in allowing this? Read the Apostle Paul’s answer in Romans 9:10-16. Hebrews 12:14-17 warns of the bitterness that comes from falling short of God’s grace, and informs us that Esau begged with tears for the primary blessing but received only a secondary blessing. (Read also Genesis 27:1-40) Esau became the forefather of the Edomites, who carried his bitterness in their genes. The book of Obadiah tells us what God thought of the Edomite attitude.
We read in Genesis 48:8-20 that Manasseh, the firstborn son of Joseph, did not receive the blessing, although he was entitled to it. Jacob (his name now changed to Israel) crossed his arms and placed his right hand of blessing on Ephraim – despite the protest of Joseph, who was the father of both. The two sons would both become tribes that would adjoin one another. But Ephraim would rise to greater prominence, so much so that in the book of Hosea the kingdom of Israel is frequently referred to as Ephraim.
God placed the primary blessing on the second-born son because of his greater potential. The firstborn son was blessed by Jacob with a secondary blessing. The primary blessing is related to promise, not to deeds or by self-effort in attempting to bring to pass a promise (as Abraham did at Sarah’s suggestion).
The result was a bitterness that is visible in Ishmael’s descendants to this day. From the narrative of Jacob and Esau we see that God may allow a primary blessing to come upon one whose mind is devious but whose heart prizes God’s values.
The Lord changed Jacob during his 20 years under his far trickier uncle (who switched Jacob’s veiled bride for another daughter on his wedding night! (Shades of Jacob’s deceit against Esau!).
In I Corinthians 7:14 the Apostle Paul writes of the unbelieving partner in a marriage being “sanctified” (set apart) by the believer’s faith; and their children being not unclean but “holy” through the same faith. How many mothers are asked by wayward children for prayer in situations brought about by their wayward actions?
During more than four decades as a pastor, I found this to be often the case. I instructed parents on the importance of committing their children to church meetings instead of sporting activities. It’s vital that they become Primary Blessing believers, not Secondary Blessing believers who, in times of trouble, live on the blessings that flow from their parents’ lives or from the lives of other faithful believers.